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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497247">Let your heart in the know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth_lea/pseuds/hyacinth_lea'>hyacinth_lea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>VIXX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Romantic Fluff, Sulking, and have them get together, but like very light, i think, just a reason to have Hongbin be bit of his tsundere self, of sorts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:55:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth_lea/pseuds/hyacinth_lea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The belief that it drums louder than any other noise in the room is a recurring thought by now.  By ‘it’, Hongbin refers to that little thing in his chest he just lacks the power to control: the way his heart rate just amps in speed.</p><p>Living with his best friend was the best and probably worst decision he had ever made but he just couldn’t hate living with him--it wasn’t his fault after all, the fact that Hongbin had chosen to live with Hakyeon wasn’t in any way, shape or form something that the guy he had spent years ‘standing’ was to blame for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Hongbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let your heart in the know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello ~ I hope you enjoy this fluffy chabin, more so a fluff without that much plot but I hope it makes your day somehow!</p><p>and friends to lovers never hurts so why not?</p><p>was based on a prompt by promptgenerator thingy: "A uses B's head as pillow and refuses to move" </p><p>It became this! enjoy :3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The belief that it drums louder than any other noise in the room is a recurring thought by now. A string of words that just won’t stop resonating loudly in the back of his mind continuously manifests and clouds his rational side little by little, but Hongbin just avoids taking the blame for that and accuses <em> it </em> of every single thing he is feeling. By <em> ‘it’ </em>, Hongbin refers to that little thing in his chest he just lacks the power to control: the way his heart rate just amps in speed--obnoxiously accelerating like a driver that is just being a jerk by challenging you randomly just because you are in his way. And he believes maybe that his heart is the driver and he is the one getting in his own heart’s way by now.</p><p> </p><p><em> It’s complicated </em> , comes to mind as the first thought when it starts, when the hammering feels almost like a small anomaly that will suddenly disappear if he waits it out--only to suddenly be replaced by a quick <em> ‘You are very much a fool’ </em> soon after. <em> And he is </em>, he believes, by thinking that there is no way that his heart beats can be masked just like that. Yet, he takes notice of something that gives him a bit of calm--there are the loud sounds coming from the handheld he holds in his hands and he realizes that they may be muffling the abnormality in his system.</p><p> </p><p>Hongbin’s eyes focus on the game in question, a portable version of a platformer game he has been recently entertained by and is currently quite obsessed with--the screen appearing to be his only lifeline while in the middle of the living room at the flat he lives at. And taking his chance to game the night away shouldn’t be <em> that </em> difficult, but being home at night is indeed <em> that </em>complicated. Not because he abhors the fact that it’s one of those times of the day in which the flat isn’t entirely for him, but in fact that very detail is the one that makes his uneasiness skyrocket. </p><p> </p><p>Living with his best friend was the best and probably worst decision he had ever made but he just couldn’t hate living with <em> him </em> --it wasn’t <em> his </em>fault after all, the fact that Hongbin had chosen to live with Hakyeon wasn’t in any way, shape or form something that the guy he had spent years ‘standing’ was to blame for. </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin’s game character ends up falling off from one of the platforms in the game, all the way down nearly to the beginning of the route--<em> and yes </em>, Hakyeon isn’t to blame for that. Neither for having brought up living together or for Hongbin just getting distracted while he is thinking of Hakyeon as he games. “Damn it” he murmurs, exasperated at having lost so much progress, but it’s his own fault, just like having said yes to everything Hakyeon had suggested to him in all the years they have known each other. And the paranoia that overcomes is also something Hongbin directly takes the blame for also, for not knowing what to do about his heart during the times that Hakyeon is home--with a far too casual attitude as he paces around the room in sweatpants and extremely loose t-shirts that cover his frame.  </p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon doesn’t make too much noise when walking around, nor does he disturb Hongbin as he is sitting down on the couch with an almost faux concentration on the screen--and Hongbin is aware that the issue isn’t Hakyeon and is thankful that he respects his personal space. <em> At least </em>, fifty percent of the time--the other fifty is just Hakyeon being the kind of affectionate best friend that needs to cling to you and craves a daily intake of affection to function. The good fifty percent resides in the ability they had developed throughout the years to be able to sense when the other was in need of someone that would listen--Hongbin ponders if that’s the cause behind the current oddity he is facing, if all the times he listened or that he was listened to without questioning were the reasons that now make him tear his gaze apart from Hakyeon when their eyes meet, scrambled thoughts falling like a downpour in the depths of his mind. </p><p> </p><p>“Bin-ah,” Hakyeon’s voice resonates through the flat, it’s evident that the eye contact did not go unnoticed by his friend and Hongbin just hums--now trying to make his concentration seem real and not a mirage about to be shattered, “Hongbin-ah, are we going candle shopping today?”</p><p> </p><p>“We went candle shopping this week, hyung” is the reply Hongbin choses as the most appropriate one, logic over entertaining what Hakyeon is proposing--going candle shopping for the second time in the week means tagging along in Hakyeon’s journey to the mall, which is equivalent to leaving the comfort of the couch he is sitting on but also means having to stay outside because of having to wait for Hakyeon to pick his choice for the day. To pick his new guest that will inhabit a place in one of the shelves of the house and then, keep on dragging Hongbin alongside other shops.</p><p> </p><p>And it’s not that he hates that, or at least, not as much as he is trying to make it seem to be with his lack of engagement. He just wants to avoid the fact that while waiting for Hakyeon, the only place he will be looking at is his direction as he makes his way around the shop with an eager smile and an aura of childish enthusiasm about him that would just make Hongbin stare in utter awe. Shortly after to just tease his hyung about his hobby, and maybe get a hit in retaliation for the jokes--and preventing that pattern from even taking place yet again is something Hongbin wants to ensure. </p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon hums, swiftly approaching to the point Hongbin’s knowledge is ignorant to the precise moment Hakyeon put his hands on Hongbin’s knees and crouches in front of him, “Okay, look at me, I went with you to get this game you are playing right now--it should be equal”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew I should have purchased it digitally” and Hakyeon pouts at that, stretching his arm to hit Hongbin on the forearm and leaning forward almost immediately to flick his forehead--the hit making Hongbin squint his eyes and briefly rub that area. He should be used by now to this kind of counterattack, but Hongbin can’t help the small complaint that escapes him, “What was that for!” </p><p> </p><p>“For saying you would have rather avoided going videogame shopping with me”</p><p> </p><p>Hongbin stares for a second, eyes widening momentarily at the possibility of Hakyeon maybe displaying that deep down, he is probably upset. But Hongbin composes, “It’s called being practical” it earns him the sight of a frown forming in Hakyeon’s face almost instantly, Hakyeon is back to crouching and for him it becomes an extremely easy task to slap Hongbin’s knee from there, “At least I don’t have to go out like that”</p><p> </p><p>“Which you should! At least with your hyung” Hakyeon mentions, now moving to take a seat next to Hongbin, “Unless you don’t want to go out with me?” the way that those words are mentioned makes Hongbin’s concentration rapidly disappear, vanishing in front of him just as the way the screen on his handheld fades to black. His heart skips a beat, and Hongbin wishes the lack of noise to somehow not give away the sound he swears he hears ringing loudly in his ears--for the hammering to not be so loud, a sense of danger looming in the possibility of Hakyeon hearing the sounds of Hongbin’s heartbeats from that close. </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin turns his head to the side, trying to let feigned incredulity be the one to defend him, as if he was asking Hakyeon ‘<em> Hyung, are you for real? </em>’ and it seems that his raised eyebrow and the way he tilts his head to the side are enough to deliver that message--even if the reality of putting on that mask comes from another place.  </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin’s way of looking at Hakyeon makes the older let a bit of exasperation come to the surface, gaze intense, with a strange confrontational calm about him. But Hongbin knows how he ticks, the certainty that Hakyeon will whine about this just washes over Hongbin and he is sure he will just end up giving in. However, he seems to be wrong this time because things don’t happen like he predicted them, the usual comfortable pattern seeming to have broken this time.</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon lets out a long sigh and shifts in his spot, “Bin-ah” his voice makes Hongbin’s eyes look downwards, the feeling that his friend is up to no good rushes suddenly throughout him and Hongbin just wonders if his hyung is going to resort to saccharine displays of adorableness just to convince him. And Hongbin would die first, out of embarrassment and because his energies would end up drained--leaving him with his heart melted and with electricity running through his every fiber because while he dislikes cuteness, he can’t help but smile the moment Hakyeon does anything of that nature to get his way. There is a hand on his knee, another on his console that is being lowered to Hongbin’s lap, “If you don’t want to go to shop for candles, then there is always the cactus store”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, please” and Hongbin doesn’t know if he is telling Hakyeon to stop insisting for him to leave their home or if he is indirectly telling his friend to not put his hands on his knees or lap, to not make the distance almost nonexistent, to not let that friendly touch make shivers course through him. Hongbin lets go of the console and tries to sit straight, only for Hakyeon’s hands to find rest on his shoulders, “Hyung, I really don’t want to go out” </p><p> </p><p>He hopes that Hakyeon finds no offense in this, for Hakyeon’s mind to not register this as blatant rejection towards his friendly gestures, a dismissal to Hakyeon’s wish to be with him. But he can’t help gulping and feeling like his breathing got caught on his throat, so he wonders if he is being far too evident, if his facade is somehow shattering, if the way his gaze tries to avoid getting lost in his friend’s is already too obvious by now. There is a light quiver travelling through him, lightly making its path through his skin and he just prays Hakyeon’s fingertips aren’t able to detect the subtle shifts by now.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Hakyeon inquires,a simple question that Hongbin takes some seconds to study, with worry coming to him. But he is able to tell that, luckily, the inquiry holds no resentment hidden somewhere in it, “Why is it that you don’t want to go out?”</p><p> </p><p>Hongbin doesn’t even know where to begin explaining, whether he should say that he would rather stay at home with his heart in the calmest state he can seem to find these days--or if he should just be the equivalent to a lovesick idiot looking helplessly at his crush from the other side of the classroom. Lies are the ones Hongbin can’t bring himself to say, things along the lines of <em> ‘because I don’t want to go out with you’ </em> or <em> ‘because what you are doing is boring’ </em> wouldn’t even slip his lips. But all that Hakyeon suggests screams <em> Cha Hakyeon </em> , includes being in his sphere, surrounded by everything that means <em> him </em>, intoxicated by all that makes Hakyeon who he is--and he doesn’t know if he is ready to go through that, “Would rather just play”</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon stays silent for some seconds, grasp on Hongbin’s shoulder still strong and Hongbin swears he feels for a second that one of Hakyeon’s thumbs briefly caresses the side of his neck, “Then do you maybe want to go to the arcade with me and--” Hakyeon’s words are replaced by a buzzing sound, sign that someone is calling the older, and he mutters a brief,<em> ‘Wait a minute’ </em> before he is standing up and quickly answering the call. </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin bites his bottom lip, trying to pay no mind to the way Hakyeon’s tune tints itself with cheeriness--to ignore how whoever he is talking to has made him rid of the upsetting mood Hongbin had made surface for the past few minutes. And that somehow catches Hongbin off guard, with tinges of irritation starting to unveil in his face and so he just turns his gaze back towards the handheld--mostly to avoid seeing just how bright Hakyeon looks when talking to others like it’s the most natural thing he can do.</p><p> </p><p>Yet, not seeing him doesn’t equal to Hongbin’s mind not making him imagine just how vibrant his smile must be--even if Hakyeon now isn’t facing him and is walking in direction towards the kitchen,<em> ‘Oh? At what time would that be?’ </em> he hears Hakyeon say and his eyes instinctively look up the moment he hears that. But, at that point, all he can see is the door of the kitchen being shut. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes linger on the door for some seconds too long and the fact that he can’t hear what Hakyeon is saying anymore makes a little bit of uneasiness flow in Hongbin’s mind to the point he is sure that by now, the fact that he is getting upset by not knowing with whom Hakyeon is talking, where he is going and why is probably really discernible from a mile away. </p><p> </p><p>But that’s <em> not </em> Hakyeon’s fault, once again, <em> it isn’t his fault </em>. Hongbin is the one that kept denying his friend a chance to go out because of his own feelings, in order to keep them secret and for the words he feels may leave his lips at any moment his guard is down to not be voiced until he gets over what his heart is doing to him. </p><p> </p><p>He could have spent a nice evening with Hakyeon shopping for his candles and his cactuses and then maybe go to the arcade like his hyung had suggested. He could have been sitting down outside the store gazing at him like that was his favourite past time. But the opportunity to enjoy something like this with the person who makes his heart somersault as of lately has just been thrown out of the window, and only by his inability to stand the usual way everything has been up until now.</p><p> </p><p>He resumes his game though, wanting for his mind to disconnect his thoughts from anything relating to Hakyeon--to find calm in numbing them until they are replaced with the necessary focus to not fail that level again. But his focus is short-lived because soon enough, he can hear the sound of the kitchen's door opening, steps making haste towards the hall. And he sighs because Hakyeon passed by without sparing him a glance--but he is the one to blame, after all, he probably did upset his hyung by saying no for his own sake.</p><p> </p><p>Hongbin’s mind starts making theories, wondering if the friend in question may probably be their dongsaeng who would more than gladly accompany Hakyeon where he wanted to go, or perhaps that older hyung who is an actor and that Hongbin doesn’t even know why or how Hakyeon met him. His mind starts working on a list of possible candidates and causing concern that he should find unnecessary on a regular basis--if he wasn’t feeling like he was just being replaced just now. A childish thought, he <em> is </em>aware of that fact, but one that he cannot prevent from making him feel like he had been tossed aside--yet he knows where the fault resides if the claims his brain made were true at all. After all, he did say that staying at home was what he wanted to do.</p><p> </p><p>He stomps his foot on the carpet once, frustration finding a way to manifest with said action, mind going at an erratic pace and even making him consider standing up and perhaps tell his hyung that sure he will go with him, that sure they can go get his candles since seeing him buy another one won't hurt him, or how perhaps they maybe do need a new cactus. Or perhaps he should just turn off the handheld, go for his coat and be done with it, make his intention of actually going out with Hakyeon tangible without voicing it. After all, Hakyeon understands even when he isn't saying anything so if he finds him getting ready perhaps he can drop the possible plans he has--as selfish as it sounds to Hongbin, he would rather stand the drumming in his chest willingly over seeing Hakyeon go away.</p><p> </p><p>Steps can be heard, speed slower than when he was ignored after that phone call. His focus goes back to the game, trying to appear as if he doesn’t mind whether Hakyeon goes out or not--perhaps an attempt to not make it evident that he is indeed bothered by the prospect of having thrown away his opportunity to go out, if the faint scent of light pine and lavender that Hakyeon usually wears is any indication that he is indeed going out. Without Hongbin. There is humming coupled with the steps and for a brief second, he can swear that Hakyeon paused, as if something had caught him off guard but he was able to compose immediately, "Bin-ah?"</p><p> </p><p>His name being pronounced in that simple yet effective way makes him pause the game, still, he pretends he is too engrossed to engage in conversation--forcing his eyes to not dare look up, after all, Hakyeon probably already changed and got ready to go out with whoever he was talking to on the other end of the line. And Hongbin shouldn't be angry--it was <em> his </em>fault that his chance now was taken by someone else. So if he said he wanted to game the night away, maybe he should look as if he was in the midst of doing so. He hears Hakyeon approaching but he has convinced his eyes that looking at the older will only be a reminder of his bad decision taking ability, one that is now even meddling with matters like this--becoming complicated in their nature of simplicity.</p><p> </p><p>"Bin-ah, do you want to maybe go out have dinner?" Hakyeon says, and as usual, it probably comes from the fact that he doesn't want Hongbin eating take out again, or that he may want him third-wheeling and getting both him and the other person in the same place. Only that it would mean that Hongbin would have to be witness to Hakyeon going out on a date with another person--third-wheeling through and through. So he shrugs his shoulders, resuming the level to pretend that, <em> yes </em>, a platform game is far more interesting than his hyung, "And you are not going to say anything?" </p><p> </p><p>"Have a nice time going out" Hongbin mutters, under the belief that he was low enough and that Hakyeon wasn’t going to hear him. But it doesn’t take long for him to realize that Hakyeon most likely was able to hear the words that came from Hongbin’s lips at a moment where his feelings got the better of him--the faint annoyance coupled with small tinges of disturbance that can be discerned in his tone, especially after knowing each other for so long, are being far too evident by now. Yet with this reaction, Hongbin hopes that Hakyeon should understand that he needs space--or that’s the knowledge his friend is supposed to be holder of. But at the same time, he knows that maybe his attitude is causing concern and it makes Hongbin look up, much to his initial resolve to avoid meeting eyes with Hakyeon, “You are going to go out, aren’t you? So I--have a nice time going out”</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon raises an eyebrow in response to his words, and Hongbin doesn’t know if the reason behind it resides in how it’s obvious that there is something abnormal about his behaviour or, because he is looking like an entire fool right now--someone who lacks the ability to take decisions the moment he has to and instead allows for frustration to absorb him when what he said no to doesn’t actually happen. And the only culprit Hongbin can blame is his heart, and the way it lets itself fall into the oddity of missing beats when his mind fully registers that Hakyeon had indeed changed. He stares a few seconds, Hakyeon is just wearing a casual black wool sweater on him and light blue denim jeans but somehow, still looks like the precise reason that has Hongbin’s breath stuck in his throat--like the reason his mind can find itself crashing, with no indication of functioning any sooner. Like the sole reason Hongbin’s heart began malfunctioning. </p><p> </p><p>He wouldn’t brand this feeling as jealousy, or at least, that’s what his logical side is trying to convince himself of--to really make an effort and not appear as if a feeling like that is tying around him and it makes him hope that Hakyeon doesn’t perceive it as such either, or else he feels like he may not hear the end of it. Yet his only defense mechanism is shrugging again,  “Enjoy your time out, I will order something to eat don’t worry” the silence that follows is a bit unnerving, too tense for Hongbin to even find a second to relax and lower his guard and think that he effectively escaped his best friend today, albeit this meaning he is sending him off with someone else. Unexpectedly, but still escaped nonetheless. </p><p> </p><p>What Hongbin expects is of contradicting nature, a clash that translates in his wish for Hakyeon to just not and walk away and out of their living room but he can't deny that he also needs to hear it from him, that he is worried, that he wants to know whether he is okay or not. But Hakyeon only stares at him, head tilted to the side, eyes with questions orbiting in the back of them, eager to know what courses through the currents of Hongbin's thoughts--or that's what Hongbin feels like when Hakyeon doesn't try to tear his gaze away from his, connection unwilling to be broken. It becomes too much for Hongbin, resorting to looking back towards the handheld, "I will stay the night here, so don’t be surprised if by the time you come back I'm here” says Hongbin, kind of implying that Hakyeon may arrive home late, and that he will still be there--whenever Hakyeon decides to come back home of course.</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon utters a low <em> ‘huh’</em>, with confusion and bewilderment accompanying such small a sound. And Hongbin can only say “Have fun”  and he is aware that it may have sounded a bit bitter, but he just can’t help it--the jealousy may become evident, but he doesn’t mind by now, choosing instead to shift in his spot a bit, resting his back far more casually against the couch and stretching his legs like he doesn't even care just how careless he may be looking at the time. May as well be comfortable if he is going to be almost all night in an uneasy state wondering who was the guy that actually was there for Hakyeon instead of him. </p><p> </p><p>And he expects that by now Hakyeon should get the message and leave wherever he wants to go and entrap people in that aura that he emanates and can entrance anyone--but he truly isn't expecting for Hakyeon to instead take the spot next to him on the couch, “Bad mood today huh?” Hakyeon says, shoulder brushing against Hongbin’s lightly, "I may just bring something sweet for you” Hakyeon adds, pressing his index finger on one of the spots where Hongbin’s dimples show up whenever he is smiling--and it feels like glacial currents make him freeze in the spot. </p><p> </p><p>It’s not an attempt to reject Hakyeon, but he can’t help his reflexes, rather than finding a suitable reaction--he jolts, breaking the contact, “Hyung come on!” Hongbin whines. There is no need for anything of sweet nature, or that’s what Hongbin sees as most logical--after all, if he were to indulge in a sweetness overdose, then the man sitting next to him with arms crossed over his chest, with his knees lightly brushing his own, is the definition of sweetness. The only one Hongbin would willingly allow despite the looks of it--even his sole presence is the meaning of it, with that way Hakyeon has of tilting his head to the side that makes Hongbin now wish for his best friend to not put his head on his shoulder or his heart may give up.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Sweets can cure a bad mood you know?” Hakyeon softy mentions, briefly gazing at Hongbin, “Or sweetness and silence” there is a small pause--in Hakyeon’s speech, in the way everything seems to stop around Hongbin. And it takes Hongbin back--quite rapidly to the times in which words haven’t been necessary to express what the other needs to hear at moments where the mind is erratic and the heart longs for comfort. Yet Hongbin knows that Hakyeon isn’t aware of the fact that it’s his very heart the one that needs to be told to slow down, cut down on the bitterness when Hakyeon is nothing but adoring towards him and has always been like that. But he lacks the words, so he allows himself to indulge in the silence and closes his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, silence would be good” Hongbin says, letting out a long sigh that seems to halt everything in its wake escape his lips. His mind choosing to wander into a blank space for a moment, trying to push the thoughts away and be nice and accept that he was indeed a bit too on edge with Hakyeon the moment he just wanted to spend time together. <em>But it comes without warning</em>, the way his heart seems to go on a hundred miles per hour seems to come without warning as it takes the wheel, leading him to crash and notice the anomaly in speed--but he knows who caused it. And now he wishes he could push him away.</p><p> </p><p>When Hongbin opens his eyes, the sight he is met with would be a usual one back in other times when what he felt wasn't so evident--he is used to it and many other things from his best friend, but there he is now, with his head resting on Hongbin’s lap, looking into his eyes with a peaceful smile on his lips that stuns Hongbin on his spot and makes him unable to stop himself from expressing his frustration, “Hyung, why-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to wait for you to calm down,” Hakyeon says, “Can’t let you be with that bad mood you know?” Hongbin blinks, words deciding to flee when he needs them the most--so he takes his handheld and tries to resume his game for some minutes, in hopes that Hakyeon will just move away. After all, he has blocked the view from the other with his little console and the least Hongbin expects is for Hakyeon to say that he is being really inconsiderate and then proceed to storm off--with misunderstandings latching tightly to his steps and words Hongbin hasn't been able to utter lingering around Hakyeon without even being aware.</p><p> </p><p>But Hakyeon doesn't budge. Instead, he crosses his arms over his abdomen, eyes still looking up, without any indication that there will be an end to his staring, “I’m so not moving even if you try that” Hongbin does his best to not look anywhere else past the screen, and the fact that Hakyeon is making himself comfortable on his lap doesn't really help him maintaining any sort of facade. He taps his foot on the ground to no avail and he hears the older snorting and wonders vaguely whether he is doing this to get on his nerves or as payback for not going with him.</p><p> </p><p>"Hyung, I can't play like this!"</p><p> </p><p>Yet Hakyeon moves Hongbin's hands away and lifts himself up, using Hongbin’s thigh for leverage, and gets closer to his orbit--breaking that barrier of personal space that he respects fifty percent of the time, this time to press a finger to Hongbin's lips, "Silence therapy,"  he says, and the words linger way too close, mingling with the air Hongbin breathes in. And everything he wanted to say ends up entangled in his throat, lips falling slightly agape the moment that Hakyeon withdraws his finger, “There we go” Hakyeon whispers, faint enough but Hongbin can still discern the words by reading Hakyeon’s lips, and he wishes he wasn’t so focused on them but his mind seems to collapse at the sight.</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon’s lips curve into a smile, victorious one at Hongbin’s bewildered state and he smoothly goes back to resting his head on his lap, swiftly prying the console from Hongbin’s grasp and placing it on the small coffee table at the middle of the living room, <em> ‘Silence’ </em>Hakyeon mouths, eye contact not breaking.</p><p> </p><p>He stays there, resting as if Hongbin’s thighs were his personal pillow and Hongbin is doing his best not to push him away--especially when the first thought that had come to mind was to make him roll away and land on the table, as mean as that would have appeared. He knows Hakyeon is sweet but his stubbornness when he wants to get something is as clear as day, and the fact that he is closing his eyes right now makes Hongbin certain that he is not planning to move, “Unless there is something you want to say”</p><p> </p><p>“You said silence”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Hongbin isn’t sure if he is taking that as a taunt, if Hakyeon is trying to get a reaction out of him that would disclose how he is actually really feeling inside--but when asked about being sure whether he wanted to say something or not, it makes Hongbin slightly apprehensive. Perhaps, even a little bit irritated. He thinks Hakyeon has picked up on the way he is behaving, probably by now is just getting back at Hongbin for his behaviour before he goes away with someone else.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure that your date isn’t waiting, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon’s eyes open the moment that he is told that, and he tilts his head to the side as in questioning--seemingly wanting to utter a <em> ‘what’ </em>but holding back from it. Instead, gazing at Hongbin from his spot that he seems to find comfortable enough.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean,” Hongbin rolls his eyes, “You are already running late to your date, who was that anyway? Sanghyuk? your hyung? I think he is called Yikyung?” but Hakyeon only hums at that and bites on his bottom lip. It starts grating Hongbin and he can almost taste the confirmation that yes, Hakyeon is actually invading his space but this time not to recharge energies or showcase affection--but to pester him about stuff, if the sly fox-like smile is any indication.</p><p> </p><p>“Or maybe it’s Minhyuk-hyung, I mean you guys were really good friends when he studied with you” Hongbin continues, head to mouth filter faulty by now and for the looks of it, giving a really interesting show to Hakyeon--if <em> that’s </em>the silence therapy Hakyeon wanted to have, then it’s definitely not going in the way he wanted. But perhaps the frustration Hongbin is displaying comes from his own inability to voice what goes through his mind the way he wants to, and he knows Hakyeon can understand that this is bugging him, but the fact Hakyeon isn’t saying anything is making exasperation cascade rapidly all over Hongbin, “Or maybe Taekwoon-hyung! It’s not like you two aren’t close--”</p><p> </p><p>“Taekwoon is dating your friend, in case you forgot” Hakyeon interrupts, and somehow Hongbin feels warmth spreading across his cheeks, aiming to colour them--and he just hopes it isn't visible. Yet he is aware that by now, he sounds like he is having a jealousy fit, unwarranted at it--like he feels entitled to the best friend he had said no to just to protect his own heart, but he is doing a really poor job even at doing so now. </p><p> </p><p>“Anyway,” Hongbin says looking at Hakyeon for some brief seconds, “Don’t you have a date to go to?” and he sees Hakyeon rolling his eyes when he is asked that, making Hongbin feel aggravated at the action because it’s not like he doesn’t know or couldn’t hear just how happy he sounded when on the phone. And the only thing he wants is for Hakyeon to leave him for a second because he doesn't know how to control the drumming anymore and at this rate, he feels like he will say what he feels in his heart--even if he doesn't know exactly how to turn it into words.</p><p> </p><p>“What if I do?” Hakyeon counters, making Hongbin just stares at him wide-eyed at the confirmation he gets.</p><p> </p><p>“Then you can simply go. I mean, wasn’t I preventing you from going out?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted us to go have dinner”</p><p> </p><p>“And you want me third-wheeling, hyung? No thanks and besides,” Hongbin says, “You are running late”</p><p> </p><p>He feels the pressure of Hakyeon’s hand on one of his thighs, lifting himself up to meet him face to face, using him as support to approach closer to him. Hakyeon’s eyes inspect Hongbin from up close and Hongbin can only bring himself to say, “You really are running late, hyung” enraptured by the closeness.</p><p> </p><p>And when those words have left his lips, Hongbin really wants to avoid Hakyeon’s gaze boring into him and turns his head to the side as a defense measure, trying to get across that he no longer wishes to talk. Yet Hakyeon’s touch lands on his chin and his head is turned to face Hakyeon, eyes connecting with his own from an almost nonexistent distance, “You talk too much, Bin-ah” </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin would love to retaliate, say that Hakyeon is the one that talks the most out of the two. But his words are silenced, thrown to the back of his consciousness where they become blurred and probably even deleted as his mind short-circuits the moment there is no longer a barrier between them both--Hakyeon having shattered it by getting into his personal sphere far more than he has ever before, his lips being the only method for Hongbin’s words to halt themselves. He feels Hakyeon shifting in his spot, sitting far more straight as he brings one of his hands to the back of Hongbin’s head, losing his fingers in strands of the younger’s hair. </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin swears he is soaring high and then sinking terribly fast altogether--his hyung must have done this just to make him shut up, he has just done this on purpose to press his buttons, <em> hasn’t he?  </em>The touch makes him quiver, a little gasp leaving his lips the moment Hakyeon parts for a little and when Hongbin sees him and feels the slightly intercepted way Hakyeon is breathing brushing against his face--he wonders if Hakyeon is only teasing him or if he legit is feeling the same mad beating in his chest right now as their breathing mingles.</p><p> </p><p>“Bin-ah?” Hakyeon asks, with his gaze moving from Hongbin’s eyes to his lips and Hongbin can't help swallowing hard, words too tangled up to come to the surface and form themselves into anything holding coherency. He feels Hakyeon's fingers lightly caressing his neck and sees how his mouth opens slightly as if he was going to say something, but it falls shut soon enough. </p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon clears his throat, shifting in his spot until he is back to actually sitting down properly, breaking any possibility of eye contact between them and leaving Hongbin perplexed as to what happened just some seconds ago, "Crap" Hakyeon says under his breath, his hand grasping his own jeans in unison, " Bin-ah, I am sorry--I’m..." his tone turns fainter by the second and the way his words trail off makes Hongbin look in his direction even if he knows that seeing that best friend that has always been there and has now silenced him with a kiss will make his heart somersault.</p><p> </p><p>He can notice the way Hakyeon bites on his bottom lip, worry seeming to have downpoured all over him--and Hongbin would love to be able to give him any kind of comfort or answer, but the way that his mind also stopped working renders him unable to. Hakyeon lets out a long sigh, now being the one to avoid Hongbin’s gaze, “I’m sorry, Hongbin-ah, maybe I shouldn’t have...” he says, making himself be the one to interrupt his own words, clearly thinking of a way to drop the subject after he utters all the apologies he can, “I’ll go to my room, or out, I don’t know--I’m sorry” he says, but is that mention of going out the one that triggers all of those inner feelings coursing through Hongbin, emotions that are turning volatile every second since Hakyeon kissed him and are about to make him combust.</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon attempts to escape that bubble of entangled sensations that has enveloped them, raising up only ever so slightly yet with an instant showcase that he wants out of here,<em> and fast </em> . And it’s probably out of reflex, but Hongbin finds himself reaching for Hakyeon’s hand, halting him in his actions, a sole <em> ‘Hyung’ </em>falling from his lips that makes Hakyeon turn to face him--only to be met with Hongbin leaning forward rapidly, capturing him in his attempt to flee, entrapping him now in his own sphere now just like Hakyeon did some minutes ago. </p><p> </p><p>Hongbin’s hand ends up at the back of Hakyeon’s head and his lips take Hakyeon’s with an urgency he didn’t know he harboured--and Hakyeon responds tenfold, his lips sliding against Hongbin's in synchronicity as the only air he knows in that second is the one they share. Hakyeon’s arms wrap themselves around Hongbin’s neck bringing him closer to his frame and he seems to smile in between the kiss--making Hongbin muse if it’s because of the way his heart drums loudly, if it’s because Hakyeon is feeling that hammering against his own chest and that’s the reason that Hakyeon’s lips curve into smiles as he kisses back.</p><p> </p><p>And when enveloped in Hakyeon’s embrace, Hongbin can’t prevent being brought on top of him, falling on top of Hakyeon and into his aura so naturally as if he was being brought in by a magnet--entrapping Hakyeon in between himself and the couch as a result. They part at the same time, taking in each other and seeing the effects that it has left, with tinted cheeks and accelerated breathing and a pending realization that has now hit Hongbin’s mind--he <em>likes</em> Hakyeon, way too much to even voice it. He <em> likes </em> Hakyeon, he <em> has </em> <em>kissed</em> Hakyeon, but does that mean Hakyeon likes him back or did he just get lost in the moment? Too many inquiries fly in a haste in his mind until it dawns on him fully, the weight of this kiss <em> ‘Ah fuck’ </em> resonates in his mind, but he is bound to the moment, so hooked by this sensation that he has even forgotten what he was so mad about.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” Hakyeon breaks the fleeting silence that had fallen on them, and that teasing tone coats his words as he brings a hand to Hongbin’s jaw, casually tracing it without breaking the contact their gazes share, “You like me, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>At the mention of those words, Hongbin’s eyes widen. It makes him tear the proximity they share, lifting himself with his hands and back onto the couch, taking some distance from Hakyeon, stammering over what he wants to say, “And you like me very much, I could tell” he hears Hakyeon mention as he sits upright.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what, hyung?” Hongbin’s stance changes, but the evident way that he is trying to raise his defenses and disregard what was said to him is palpable in his nervousness, “I feel like going out now, candle shop or plants shop?”</p><p> </p><p>“Bin-ah” says Hakyeon, but Hongbin is already standing up, avoiding to let himself be captured again in Hakyeon’s aura--not because he dislikes being so close to Hakyeon, but because he doesn’t know if that fifty percent of personal space he used to have has now broken entirely to the point he likes it and won’t function afterwards. </p><p> </p><p>“I think a cherry-scented candle would do this house good,” Hongbin says, feet taking him towards the door where their mahogany coat hanger stands and taking hold of his overcoat, not facing Hakyeon at all, “Or maybe a new small cactus? would look good next to the other ones--”</p><p> </p><p>“Hongbin-ah”</p><p> </p><p>“Unless you prefer to go with your date and--” but when he turns around after blabbering so much, Hakyeon is there, not even half a meter away from him--a curious gaze in his eyes, a smile that indicates that this is entertaining him so much.</p><p> </p><p>“There is no date,” he says, raising an eyebrow at the way Hongbin looks utterly shocked by knowing this information, “Unless you are asking me out on one?” and it’s flirty, it’s like a silky caress that makes Hongbin defend himself with a scoff before he learns to take a liking to it.</p><p> </p><p>“Me? Asking you out on a date?”</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon hums, right hand coming to rest on Hongbin’s forearm, with a tilt of his head that seems to take Hongbin by surprise at the way he is now forming his words,“Yes, and that’s so nice of you”</p><p> </p><p>By now, Hongbin can’t tell whether this is only teasing and Hakyeon is aware that deep inside, Hongbin is a mess and is only getting back at him for having said no--because even for Hakyeon’s level of clinginess, this is too much for Hongbin to handle, “Hyung” he says, roll of his eyes when thinking that there was no date and all this was a set up, “If you wanted me to go out with you, you shouldn’t have gone as far to kiss me”</p><p> </p><p>He lingers terribly close, Hakyeon’s words fanning against Hongbin’s visage, “You kissed me back though”</p><p> </p><p>If Hongbin was already having trouble forming any coherent words to express himself, now he is frozen on that spot--with Hakyeon’s eyes boring into him and a disorder of thoughts entangling inside his head until nothing logical comes to mind. He kissed Hakyeon back, and with far more need than Hakyeon did when Hongbin was the one being kissed--they ended up on the couch and it flashes so fast in his eyes that he doesn’t register when Hakyeon is some centimeters away and whispers, “You kissed me back, Lee Hongbin”</p><p> </p><p>The wires in Hongbin’s brain stop working for a split second when Hakyeon says his full name as if it was a property of his now, eyes half-closed, making Hongbin fall into the same daze, “Hyung…” falls from Hongbin’s lips, but there are no other words coming to him. The trance they are at lasting for only some minutes before Hakyeon takes a step back, a sigh escaping him as if there was disappointment in the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah sure, let’s go, I’ll go fetch my coat” the smile that accompanies his words is different from the other ones, lacking that warmth that was painted in it and instead, being replaced with a sense of defeat and a small nod--one that marks a transitory distance between the two that wasn’t there before.</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon turns around on his heels, feet about to take him back into the hall and Hongbin is aware that there is nothing much he can say that wouldn’t sound like a straight-up denial of the feelings that shake his heart--that whatever that slips from his lips will be a collision between what he feels and what he can’t voice. So he says the word that he is used to the most in all of this, one that prompts Hakyeon to stop walking, “Hyung” when he does, he knows he will maybe regret the outcome of this, he won’t stop hearing Hakyeon going on and on about what he is about to do.</p><p> </p><p>But he wraps his arms around Hakyeon’s shoulders, pressing his chest against his friend’s back and burying his head on Hakyeon’s dark locks--with actions speaking for him, and his heart signing his confession in loud beats, “Oh” Hakyeon says, bringing one of his hands to rest on top of Hongbin’s trembling one.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t say anything okay, this is difficult as it is”</p><p> </p><p>Hakyeon throws his head back a little and with his other hand brings Hongbin to settle his head against his neck, “To think I was going to wait until we were out,” is what he says, raking his fingers through Hongbin’s hair, Hongbin’s breath caressing his neck, “To confess to you that I like you, a lot”</p><p> </p><p>It’s not Hakyeon’s fault that Hongbin’s grasp tightens, that his face hides against the crook of his neck in embarrassment--just like it’s not his fault that for once now, he doesn’t feel like letting go that fast until the pace of his heart calms down, “You should better tell your heart to get used to it” Hakyeon says, with his head slightly turned to the side, looking at Hongbin from the corner of his eye, the closeness easing him for once.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, hyung” Hongbin says, earning him a caramel-like laugh that engulfs him and sweetens the bitterness that at some point was present there this night.  Yet he knows Hakyeon’s words ring of truth--he should let his heart in the know that this is how it will be to be with Cha Hakyeon.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you have  read it all then thank you so much &lt;3 I hope it was enjoyable for you! do lemme know in the case you liked &lt;3 would love to hear from you :3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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